


Blackbird

by Smapdi



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: Angst, Angst Monster Strikes Again, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 12:16:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2811656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smapdi/pseuds/Smapdi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not every romance is a comedy, or even a romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blackbird

**Author's Note:**

> The Tumblr angst monsters brought this on themselves.

It was the story of his life, till he rewrote it. 

All those times he hesitated, missed that tiny window, they all flashed through his mind in an instant. Her big eyes staring at him behind her glasses, her hair short as his; her soft, shy smile at Christmas; her absence on the plane as it rattled and shook. 

Here she was again, looking at him, and her eyes were a little tired now, more worn down, more jaded. In the six weeks since they'd returned from Los Angeles, she'd reunited and broken up with Cliff three times. She swore this time that was it, she was done with him, but she'd said that twice before. 

So it was almost a public service, to her, to everyone who had been watching the drama unfold, when he finally kissed her, that warm spring night in his apartment. 

She had come over for something that seemed inconsequential at the time, he's not even sure he remembers - was it salad tongs? Why would she have needed those? And he was already down a couple of bourbons, a pretty common thing when he had a day off. She had taken a sip and made a face.

"Why do you drink this, Danny? There's so many other choices, like mojitos!" 

It was Danny's turn to grimace. "Bourbon is good," was all he could mutter. It's manly and strong and when you drink enough of it you forget that you're lonely, but he wasn't going to tell her that. Not when her eyes were twinkling, even though she had just finished moaning about her terrible love life, and how she was quitting dating. 

"I'm serious, though. I'm done looking for a relationship. I'm going to focus on my work, and get my life in order, and forget about the whole stupid true love myth. Life isn't a romantic comedy," she sighed, and then she moved closer to him. "I can't keep pretending Prince Charming is out there."

Danny never stopped watching her mouth, the way her lips moved around each word. "Uh huh. Sounds like a plan." 

Mindy flipped her hair and ducked her head, grinning and looking up under her lashes, the usual moves. They never failed her. She didn't know she didn't have to try so hard, that she already had him.

"You like my plan, Danny?" Her voice was lower, slower, and her hand was on his knee. "I mean, it's all well and good to say this stuff, but I have to follow through." Her eyes flitted from his mouth to his eyes, back down, sweeping his body, and then she looked him in the eye again. "And I still have...needs."

In retrospect, of course, he was an idiot. She couldn't have spelled it out any clearer, what she wanted from him, what she was willing to give. It was ironic, really, that he was the one who ended up being suckered into believing the fairy tale, that he could sweep her off her feet and they could have a happy ending. 

It wasn't like he would have said no, anyway. And he didn't mean to fall in love with her, though if he was being honest, that happened long before it started. 

Maybe a little part of him, deep down, hoped it was a ploy. Mindy and her plans, her traps, it would have made perfect sense for her to come at him this way, no pressure, no commitment. You can have me if you want me, but you don't have to make it more than what it is, unless you want to...brilliant. 

But it wasn't a trap at all. She meant every word. 

And needs, she did have, in spades. He knew this from the moment his lips met hers, when she responded with abandon, matching his hunger. She was eager and willing with her body, sharing it with him with pride, no shame or apprehension, and that in itself was rewarding, knowing she felt so comfortable with him.

He set off to memorize every inch of her, with his eyes and mouth and hands, just in case the day came that he wasn't enough for her anymore. Her scent was already irrevocably burned into his brain. 

Mindy meant it about work, too. She was already upping her game when the new head of obstetrics arrived and gave her even more to tackle. Jean was bossy and demanding and challenged Mindy at every turn, and she rose to it. 

"It's a good thing I have you, Danny," she sighed into his skin, as they lay sticky and naked under the sheets, bodies cooling. "I wouldn't have time for a boyfriend."

He slept with his back to her that night, even though it was rare for her to stay. 

They hadn't ever labeled what they had. She didn't really tell anyone about them - not that she wanted it to be a secret, exactly, but why should the office know about their private lives? Yeah, that should have been a red flag. Really, Danny should have known then that their "arrangement" was never going to be more than that, but as it happens, love is blind.

People had to have figured it out, though. It probably wasn't too hard to tell, with Danny looking at her like she hung the moon. Mindy, being Mindy, didn't notice - she probably thought everyone looked at her that way. Jeremy asked him what was going on, one late night in the office, and Danny almost told him. Some combination of humiliation and pride stopped him, though. 

He couldn't break it off. Part of him wanted to, because it was killing him, but he couldn't stand to lose what little he had of her. She seemed so happy that he convinced himself his feelings didn't matter. Maybe she was happy enough that if he didn't do anything to rattle the foundation, it would just hold. So he didn't apply any pressure. He didn't ask her to spend the night when she left the bed, even though the offer of pancakes would probably have done the trick. He didn't try to make things feel like a relationship, for fear of spooking her. And he certainly didn't tell her he loved her. 

Until he did. 

He had felt her slipping away anyway. She was coming over once, twice a week, instead of almost every night. She didn't run to him with news and gossip, she didn't bitch and moan over her long hours and troublesome patients. She talked to Peter, and Jean, and her residents, who she called her children, and her eyes didn't sparkle quite as brightly when they were alone and gazing at each other. 

They sparkled like diamonds, though, when she got the letter. 

"You got in?" He asked in a strangled voice, and she shrieked and nodded and hugged him. And then she hugged Peter, and Tamra, and Morgan, and ran to tell Jean. 

Eight months isn't a long time, really, not when you look at the big picture. It's enough time to extinguish a flickering flame, but not a roaring forest fire. 

He didn't know it would be their last time, not for sure, but he fucked her like it was anyway. 

It was worse, this time, laying there beside her, when they were supposed to be enjoying the afterglow. She'd already broken his heart once like this, though she didn't even know it, and it wasn't like his heart could break more. So he told her. 

He didn't think it would make her stay. He didn't even hope that it would make her stay. He just had to do it, to say the words once, before she left, before her life started over. It wasn't fair that she get out of this completely unscathed. 

"I love you, Min." He hadn't said those words, and meant them, in years, to anyone but his mom and his brother. "I love you." It was urgent, and terrifying, and futile. 

She sighed and looked at him, and stroked his cheek and his hair, and she kissed him, softly, and he knew it was a goodbye kiss even before she said it. 

"I know."

Turns out, he was wrong. It could break more.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [take these sunken eyes and learn to see](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4576770) by [GloriaGilbertPatch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GloriaGilbertPatch/pseuds/GloriaGilbertPatch)




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